Love Them Anyway
SO sorry it has been a while since my last post. I have two jobs, in addition to getting this blog site up and running. I try to be gentle with myself and give myself permission to “not do it all” but sometimes that means I let others down. I have missed posting… so here goes…
I had a colleague who was relatively fresh out of a 20 year career in the military. He was doing great at his job and others were starting to notice, especially those that wanted to advance and saw him as a threat to the positions at the next level. These up and comers were starting to put the squeeze on my friend. The welcoming parties were over and they began to put road blocks in his way, make it harder for him to be as successful.
Have any of you had that experience? Have one or more people realize how good you are and try to keep you back? Get in your way?
One day my friend had enough and just needed to vent. I had never seem him so upset and was internally very happy that he trusted me enough to let me see him so upset. I like it when my friends let their guard down and let me in.
After he’d finished ranting, he asked me what he should do. I am not sure where it came from but my response came quickly and firmly, “Love them anyway.”
It seemed an odd thing to say in a workplace. But as I said it, I realized it meant, take the high road. Don’t stoop to their level. Don’t get suckered into behaving like them in a tit-for-tat or eye-for-an-eye way. Be your own person. Because he was already a kind loving person through and through.
Now, with a little more years under my belt, around my eyes and in the gray of my hair, I realize that the phrase also means that the people doing these mean things to him were really in pain themselves. The anger, the bad behavior, the meanness all comes from a point of pain.
By recognizing this, and doing what you can to give them relief from their pain – by offering them love, small acts of kindness, treating them with respect – you can help them get from their point of pain to a point of peace. It does take time to turn such a battleship around, but once that happens, perhaps you end up with an ally, not an enemy.
This was my waking thought this morning… even your enemies, love them anyway.
Like this thought? Consider the card game I invented to help me cope with this with my loved one: “All is Fair in Love and War.”